Best Try Softer: A Fresh Approach to Move Us out of Anxiety, Stress, and Survival Mode--and into a Life of Connection and Joy By Aundi Kolber
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Ebook About In the wise and soulful tradition of teachers like Shauna Niequist and Brene Brown, therapist Aundi Kolber debuts with Try Softer, helping us align our mind, body, and soul to live the life God created for us.In a world that preaches a “try harder” gospel—just keep going, keep hustling, keep pretending we’re all fine—we’re left exhausted, overwhelmed, and so numb to our lives. If we’re honest, we’ve been overfunctioning for so long, we can’t even imagine another way. How else will things get done? How else will we survive?It doesn’t have to be this way.Aundi Kolber believes that we don’t have to white-knuckle our way through life. In her debut book, Try Softer, she’ll show us how God specifically designed our bodies and minds to work together to process our stories and work through obstacles. Through the latest psychology, practical clinical exercises, and her own personal story, Aundi equips and empowers us to connect us to our truest self and truly live. This is the “try softer” life.In Try Softer, you’ll learn how to:Know and set emotional and relational boundariesMake sense of the difficult experiences you’ve hadIdentify your attachment style—and how that affects your relationships todayMove through emotions rather than get stuck by themGrow in self-compassion and talk back to your inner criticTrying softer is sacred work. And while it won’t be perfect or easy, it will be worth it. Because this is what we were made for: a living, breathing, moving, feeling, connected, beautifully incarnational life.Book Try Softer: A Fresh Approach to Move Us out of Anxiety, Stress, and Survival Mode--and into a Life of Connection and Joy Review :
I am so grateful to see more and more conversations (and BOOKS!) taking place in the faith community regarding mental health, trauma, therapy, etc. Try Softer fills a much-needed gap, and it does not disappoint! As someone who has dealt with the trauma of losing a child, who has spent over a decade as military spouse in a world at war, who has uncovered childhood trauma, and who has been on my own healing journey -- this book felt like a long-lost friend. It was like an open-door invitation into healing and hope with author Aundi Kolber standing there with her arms open wide ready to receive you gently. Ultimately, the author extends to us what our Heavenly Father offers. Kolber interweaves some of her own personal stories and struggles as well as those of her clients (she’s a therapist), but this book really differentiates itself by the wealth of clinical information and expertise Kolber shares. For someone who loves stories and loves information, this book has both!This book really helped usher in God’s compassion and gentleness into my life and helped me relinquish areas of captivity by finding freedom and rest in “trying softer.” There are treasures in this book that have taken me over a decade to learn as well as new ones I’ve never before uncovered. Kolber’s knowledge, wisdom, relatability, and the inclusion of practical tools were immensely helpful. I have already returned to it a handful of times since finishing and will continue to use it as a resource in my own life.If you’re a fan of Brene Brown (but want something more Christ-centerd), if you’re ready to do some “soul work” as I like to call it, if you’re tired from the exhaustion of striving, if you have a loud inner critic, I highly recommend you grab this and start reading. While I read through it quickly, you may want to move slowly through it if you’re new to some of the concepts Kolber writes about. She does an excellent job articulating and explaining the information but some areas by nature may weigh heavy on you. I think you’ll also find the reflective questions helpful in absorbing and finding transformation as you read like I did.Thank you Aundi Kolber for sharing this work with the world! I know the world is going to be a better place as people learn to “try softer” after reading your book.Here’s one of my favorite quotes:“Every sorrow we’ve grieved, every fear we’ve felt, every trauma and all the pain we’ve lived through—it’s all valid, and it all matters. More significantly, the hard things that cracked us open have the potential to create space for deeper joy and resilience. As we try softer with ourselves by attending to and listening to our bodies and emotions, we become vast like the Grand Canyon, because our ability to hold the full experience of our humanity increases.” After months of waiting, Try Softer is finally available to purchase and I cannot wait to tell you about this book. I’ll start with fully disclosing that I’ve known Aundi Kolber for several years through a writing group. However, that only lends to my desire to tell you that this is one of the most authentic books I’ve read in recent years I cannot emphasize enough how important Aundi’s Try Softer presentation is one everyone should consider.In a time when PTSD is an overused catchphrase that people seem to self-diagnose themselves with, Aundi (a licensed therapist) brings clarity to how our past relationships inform how we learn to engage with people. Her tender reminder that difficult experiences don’t have to become trauma is so simple, and yet seems so opposite of what we hear and allow to occur in most situations.Throughout Try Softer Aundi uses her personal story as well as those of clients to help the reader identify possible similar experiences. When we understand how our past informs our present we can begin the hard work of moving forward and changing the subconscious habits we’ve unintentionally established.The best part of this book, in my opinion, is that Aundi incorporates her expertise as a therapist. She takes time to explain possible physical responses to situations we may experience. This is so important because for many of us we’ve learned to deal with conflict by NOT dealing with conflict. That is to say, we compartmentalize our responses in certain situations.Aundi reminds us that God desires us to engage in relationship with him and others with our whole heart and provides the tools to help us to begin the journey to do so.So, what exactly does it mean to “try softer”? You can learn more about that directly from Aundi here.Who should read this book: Everyone who hopes to have healthy relationships.What age is this appropriate for: The language is a bit complex. While Aundi is nothing but respectful, I think that the concepts may be harder for anyone under 16-18 to process well. 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